| I HEART MACHINE
F.A.Q. frequently
asked questions. Email
with any questions not on this list!
Do you make stickers?
How much are buttons/shirts/whatever?
How do I order stuff from you?
Why is it so cheap/expensive?
Why is turnaround so fast/slow?
Can I get my stuff by [specific date/deadline]?
Can I get 200 buttons by tomorrow?
Can I get a million shirts by tonight?
My agent/manager/design person/buddy is going to
deal with the images, is that ok?
I'm trying to start my own screenprinting/button/competing business.
Can you give me some advice?
I have an idea, but no intention of buying from you. Can we
talk about it all night?
My shirt split on the fabric along the image, what up
with that?
My shirt is getting cracks on the image, is it defective?
One of my shirts/buttons is misprinted in some way, what
is your problem?
Can I get a discount?
I get a better price from another business/my friend, can you
match it?
Can I get a discount for ordering multiple items?
I have a few designs, but I can't pick which one to do. Can
you help?
Can I buy blank shirts / just get a screen / just get the printing
from you?
What file format do you need?
I don't have the internet/image editing software, can I still order from you?
I know what I want, but I have no art skills at all and no friends with any either,
what do I do?
I can't figure out your template, what do I do?
I don't have Paypal, can I still order from you?
You say you get your shirts from a resale place: are they defective
somehow?
I want American Apparel/some specific or fancy brand, can I get
it?
This link on your site doesn't work. Are you stupid or something?
I want to cancel my order, is it too late?
I want to change something about my order, is it too late?
I have a great idea for a shirt/button/whatever, want to hear it?
I want an example before I order anything, how can I get one?
My friend says you are a jerk, why should I order from you?
Hey, I knew you from high school/college/someoplace, how's it going?
Can you get my band a show with your band if we order something?
I noticed you made something for this band/business,
can they get me a show?
I swiped this image from someone, can I make it into something?
I saw my button on some dude, how did it get there?
I really have my heart set on this one idea, but you said it'd
look like shit. What should I do?
Can you sponsor my band/make items for charity/get paid off the
back end?
I emailed/myspace'd/called you about a project and did not
get a response, what is up with that?
Do you make stickers?
Sorry, not at this time. I'll make a big announcement when I start.
How much are buttons/shirts/whatever?
See, this is why I have an FAQ!
Buttons are $15 per 100 for 1 inch,
$20 per 100 for 1.75 inch.
Shirts run from $4.25 each and up (average
$6/shirt) depending on what you want.
Follow the links to their own pages and get more details there!
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How do I order stuff from you?
email me your image/ideas and any
important details like deadlines or URL, pay me, that's it.
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Why is it so cheap/expensive?
I specialize in short runs for people who can't afford bulk/large quantities/wholesale.
You can get cheaper, but it usually takes longer, is
lower quality, or you have to order more. If anyone beats our prices, it's because
they have the economy of scale (order more), have a special deal or discount they
get on supplies, or they are not making any money. I don't have a storefront,
warehouse, real employees, etc, but I do have a child and can't exactly give it
away.
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Why is turnaround so fast/slow?
Supply and demand.
Supply: As I mentioned in the above question, I don't have a warehouse. I keep
supplies and shirts around, but not huge quantities or wide varieties. I order
when you order a lot of the time. The suppliers and the shippers can vary in speed,
and sometimes I am at their mercy.
Demand: Summertime is tour season, and many people will order at the same time,
often with last-minute deadlines. Turnaround will vary widely during those times.
Wintertime may have stretches that are very open and I get right to it, but at
Christmas people may buy things as presents and shipping may get very slow, so
think ahead!.
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My agent/manager/design person/buddy is
going to deal with the images, is that ok?
i won't say no, especially since you probably aren't reading this, but
I'd rather deal with one person if I can help it. I've had issues in the past
with the idea person talking a lot and the money person never coming through.
If you are sending me the images or placing the order, you are responsible for
paying me. Work it out however you want amongst yourselves, and when you are ready
to order just order.
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I'm trying to start my own screenprinting/button/competing
business. Can you give me some advice?
Not really. Nobody ever gave me any, and I did it the old-fashioned way: by ruining
a ton of shirts until I got it right. Buy Screenprinting for Fun and Profit.
Don't buy substandard supplies. Practice.
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I have an idea, but no intention of buying from
you. Can we talk about it all night?
*sigh* If I had a dollar for every person who threatened to order something and
then didn't, I would never have to actually make anything. Thanks for the heads
up though..
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My shirt split on the fabric along the image,
what up with that?
That is a setting error that used to happen occasionally. The ink got too heated
and lost it's elasticity. My fault, totally. Bring it back and I'll replace it,
on a one-by-one basis.
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My shirt is getting cracks on the image, is it defective?
No. You've owned band shirts before, right? They aren't any more indestructable
than any other shirt. If you wash them cold and dry them cold they last for years,
but if you wash hot, dry hot, use bleach, wear it three times a week, etc. they
will wear out.
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One of my shirts/buttons is misprinted in some way, what
is your problem?
Hey, even the big shops full of machines and pros have misprints. If you've ordered
a lot of merch over the years, you will see misprints from anyone. Major (unsalable)
misprints on buttons run around 2%, and for shirts around 5%. An additional 5%
will have printing that is not ideal ( kinda crooked or something) and other variations.
I order extra for just that reason and if they all print you get the extra. You
also get the misprints, so, hey, free pajamas or rags or something, right? If
I made a bunch of mistakes I'll make it up to you.
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Can I get a discount?
I occasionally do sales when I'm overstocked, have a new item to promote, when
things are slow, or if I get a great supplies deal that won't last. But most of
the time my prices are as low as I can get them. You are getting a discount!
Please understand that I am very busy, and giving you a better deal means I have
to turn down someone else who's willing to pay full price. Why wouldn't I give
the better customers the discount in that case? In fact, my very best
customers DO get discounts, but they had to buy their way there. If you are a
superstar, and would look good on my resume, I might do it. But if you are a superstar,
you really should be able to get a good deal someplace else anyway.
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I get a better price from another business/my friend,
can you match it?
By all means: if you have a hook-up, take it! I have no desire/need/ability/time
to get into a bidding war. You should really be going to your buddy anyway, especially
if they are willing to take a loss for you. I'm not offended at all when
someone makes a business or personal decision like that. I'm interested to know
what the market prices are and what the competition is up to of course, so thanks
for the tip! Um...do you think your friend could hook me up as well?
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Can I get a discount for ordering multiple items/services?
Yes. The time saved in communication, delivery, hassle. etc. Let me know what
you want and I'll give you a quote.
Usually it will be a percentage off the cheaper item.
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I have a few designs, but I can't pick which one to do.
Can you help?
I can tell you which ones work better, or which ones I like more. For buttons
you can spilt designs (or for that matter they are so cheap you can just order
one and then order something else the next time). It's not the end of the world.
Just pick one!
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Can I get my stuff by [specific date/deadline]?
I'll try! Let me know your deadline and I'll tell you. I can usually beat my posted
turnaround time.
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Can I get 200 buttons by tomorrow?
Probably. It's worth asking!
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Can I get a million shirts by tonight?
No. You should learn to keep track of your time better. See the above answers.
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Can I buy blank shirts / just get a screen / just
get the printing from you?
Yes. I can do any single portion of the process, including assembling a screen,
making a design and color-separating to be printed someplace else, burning the
screen, selling the shirts. The only exception is American Apparel and some other
brands that do not allow resale of blank shirts.
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What file format do you need?
I don't have email/image editing software, can I still order from you?
I know what I want, but I have no art skills at all and no friends with
any either, what do I do?
I can't figure out your template, what do I do?
I prefer to be emailed a .psd or.jpg. I can take almost any format though, from
word to paint. I can take it on a disc, or on paper (I have a scanner). You can
mail it to me or walk it over. You can get me the font, sketch it on a napkin,
describe it to me, whatever. The template
is optional, and mostly just so you know what to expect. I don't care if you use
it as long as the image is round and large. Design
can cost extra though!
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I don't have Paypal, can I still order from you?
Yeah. I take cash and check. Make your check out to Levi Eleven.
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You say you get your shirts from a resale place:
are they defective somehow?
No. They are from places that are going out of business, liquidating or are overstocked.
They are the same brand names and quality as any shirt anyplace else. That being
said, manufacturer defects are not unheard of. I don't try the shirts on or go
over every inch. If you do notice any problems that made it past me, let me know
and maybe we'll both get our money back!
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I want American Apparel/some specific or fancy brand,
can I get it?
Yes, but it will cost more. Ask for a quote. American Apparel and some
other brands do not allow resale of blank shirts, only ones I print on.
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This link on your site doesn't work. Are you stupid
or something?
Maybe. There are a ton of links to keep up with while still making all this stuff.
Thanks for the tip.
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I want to cancel my order, is it too late?
Probably. Doesn't hurt to ask. You are welcome to take any unprinted shirts and
whatever money is left.
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I want to change something about my order, is it
too late?
Maybe. Doesn't hurt to ask. Changing ink colors before I've printed is
ok, that kinda stuff. Redesign might cost money. See above answer.
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I have a great idea for a shirt/button/whatever, want
to hear it?
Maybe. Can I steal it? I'll totally make one for you, no charge, if you let me
have your idea and I like it. If you think it's a million-seller, then order some
and sell them yourself. I'm not going to license your idea, or make them and give
you a percentage, if that's what you are hoping.
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I want an example before I order anything, how can
I get one?
For buttons: send a self-addressed stamped envelope to:
I Heart Machine
444 Truman st NE
Albuquerque NM 87108
Or to see/buy samples of anything go to:
Owl Green's
112 Second st SW
Albuquerque NM, 87102
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My friend says you are a jerk, why should I order from
you?
You shop from jerks all the time I bet. Also, your friend is lying/jealous.
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Hey, I knew you from high school/college/someplace,
how's it going? I like your stuff!
Uh... ok, I guess? You can use my business email to send personal messages...
if you want. I might write back. I'm not into the "glory days" or any
of that shit though. And you don't need to message me to tell me you like my stuff.
I have a healthy ego, not that I don't appreciate it. I don't really have time
to answer those kinda messages though.
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Can you get my band a show with your band if
we order something?
No. No offense or anything, I'm just not getting paid enough to be a booking agent
or manager and I don't have the time. Second, I'm honestly not any good at it,
and other people in my bands handle that stuff. Third, I don't want to get my
business mixed up with my band. I only represent myself here. Finally: if I give
one person a show, then how can I turn down the next band who asks and might totally
suck? I'm not saying I won't play a show with you if you have one, I
just can't really set it up myself.
You can use this page of mine if it helps: Albuquerque
and Southwest music contacts.
You can contact my bands directly here: VolumeVolume
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I noticed you made something for
this band/business, can they get me a show?
That wouldn't be very cool of me. While I endorse most of my clients, many of
them I've never met, and maybe I don't even know you. I can't speak for them.
Follow their links and ask them yourselves. Check the above answer.
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I swiped this image from someone, can I make it into
something?
I don't have the time or ability to check up on everything submitted
to see if it happened to be plagurized, but since you told me, stupid, no. Now,
satire, that is ok. Using something as a starting point? It's a deal.
Clip art? Fine. "Recontextulization," anybody? You should really come
up with your own ideas though.
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I saw my button on some dude, how did it get there?
i make a couple extra to wear and/or display and may give them away for
promotional purposes. It doesn't come out of your count and it's free advertising!
This detail is on the button page under "other important stuff you should
read."
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I really have my heart set on this one idea, but you
said it'd look like shit. What should I do?
Get a second opinion? Plenty of places will do things I am not capable of, and
you will pay them money for it.
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Can you sponsor my band/make items for charity/get
paid off the back end?
I'd honestly like to, but just can't. Well, actually your band
might suck, but in theory the idea is generally cool. If I ever am making
enough money that I'm not in danger of having to get a second job, I would love
to get into this. As far as band sponsorships and buying on credit, I'd probably
be proactive and pick the recipients myself, sorry. I'm impressed by your motivation
though.
As far as charity, I will give you a discount, usually a bulk-type price for a
smaller number, but I need even more turnaround than usual.
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I emailed/myspace'd/called you about a project
and did not get a response, what is up with that?
Sorry! I don't have a secretary, I get tons of calls and messages each
day, and my spam/junk filters/screens are set very high. The chances are you just
ended up in my junk mail. Add to that the reliability of message services, cell
phones, myspace... Well, I hope you will try again! If I haven't responded with
anything in a few days, this is probably the case, and the best way to reach me
is always to try again. Especially if you have a deadline!
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